Expand, contract

(I started this post service 2 years agone (!), afterward I lost my project inward July 2014 but earlier nosotros sold our trace of piece of work solid & moved into a condo inward Apr 2016. I late flora it inward my drafts folder, updated/reworded together with expanded on the subject earlier hitting "publish" now. ) 

Noemi had a interesting post service a spell back about "Restriction vs intention" -- what she can't exercise versus what she is trying to do.

This struck a chord amongst me together with made me retrieve almost my ain life. In some ways, I experience similar my life has been shrinking, becoming to a greater extent than restricted, over the few years:

• I lost my project = my income has shrunk (and so, hence, has my spending).  
• My social circle (never real big to start with) has shrunk. I tin perish for days without carrying on a meaningful, non-transactional conversation amongst some other adult likewise dh (most shop clerks don't count). I convey lost deport upon amongst almost all the people I used to interact amongst during the operate day. I've stayed inward deport upon amongst a few of my one-time coworkers through social media, but rarely meet or socialize amongst whatsoever of them. We used to alive closer to ane retired coworker together with she & I would larn together forthwith & then, but since the motion she's a lot farther away. Another friend I occasionally socialize amongst volition survive moving to some other say soon. BIL & SIL together with several of dh's cousins alive unopen by, but most of them yet operate during the day, together with are otherwise busy amongst kids & their activities, aging parents to await inward on, etc. 
• I downsized my possessions, fifty-fifty my precious mass collection!! (maybe non enough, but yet past times a important amount, lol), sold our trace of piece of work solid (which, at almost 1200 foursquare feet, wasn't huge to start with) together with moved into an 874-square-foot condo.  
• I lost access to the swell populace transit nosotros enjoyed (well, amend than what nosotros convey hither at the moment...!) -- & amongst it, my feel of mobility together with liberty (particularly since I exercise non drive). There's route structure going on around our condo edifice at the minute that makes it hard simply to go out of our building's driveway, nevermind genuinely drive anywhere...!  
• I'm losing people that I knew (and who knew me) during my growing-up years -- relatives, friends of my parents (including ane simply terminal week). I'm also obliged to attend funerals/visitations for people I don't necessarily know, or know good (but it's yet a funeral, right? ...!) -- friends of dh's family, cousins' inlaws, etc. (I was reorganizing the newspaper inward the slots on my desk late together with was startled past times how many funeral cards I've accumulated inward the past times several months...!)  
• Even the musicians who scored the soundtrack of my youth convey been dropping similar flies lately, it seems:  Glenn Frey of the Eagles, David Bowie, Prince, Kenny Shields of Streetheart, Skip Prokop of Lighthouse, to lift simply a few.  

I know that this happens to most of us every bit nosotros historic menses -- nosotros retire, larn inward smaller homes or fifty-fifty seniors' residences, eventually plough over upwardly our drivers' licenses together with our annual trips to Florida (out-of-country move insurance skyrockets ane time you're past times 75), friends foremost to transcend away... but for most people, that doesn't foremost happening until their 60s or 70s, at the earliest.  At this betoken inward my life (mid-50s), most of my peers yet convey lives that are busy together with full.  They convey jobs, houses (some convey cottages too, or houses or condos inward Florida), children, grandchildren (or the prospect thereof), together with friends & social activities that they've perish involved amongst (some through their children). I've heard almost some retirees who are genuinely buying LARGER homes, to conform their visiting children & grandchildren (or those adult children who are yet living at abode because of the tight project marketplace & lack of affordable housing options).

I’ve been trying to “reframe” things inward my mind -- focus less on what I mightiness survive losing vs what I'm gaining.  Example: I lost my project -- together with amongst it, some of my income, my old daily routines & social interactions -- but also a LOT of stress -- and I've gained to a greater extent than fourth dimension and freedom to exercise other things. I lost foursquare footage, possessions and familiar environs when nosotros downsized into our condo -- but I gained the chance for more move & other experiences, closer proximity to our extended family, including our nephews (and maybe, inward the future, some great-nephews & nieces??).  We lost many of the headaches that perish mitt inward mitt amongst abode ownership -- lawns to mow, weeds to pull, sidewalks to shovel afterward snowstorms... And I gained a MUCH happier hubby (which is definitely worth a lot!).  :)

But it's hard. It's hard to permit perish of the old familiar life & stuff.

Don't larn me wrong. My "new" life is a skillful one, overall. Like my old life, it has its advantages, together with its painful moments. But sometimes it's hard to remain focused on the positive, together with non dwell on what you've lost or what yous miss.

Do yous experience similar your life is expanding? Contracting? In neutral gear??
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